I have learned more about myself these last few years than I ever dreamed possible. Everything I thought I knew before then had only begun to scratch the surface of a much deeper understanding that I continue to delve even further into. I have never known love the way I know it now whether I have a partner or not. Liking and not liking is one thing, but unconditional love is not something you offer someone. It is something you ARE.
Every vision I have had over the years of the myriad of ways I desired to demonstrate the love I know myself to be I have tended to carefully. I would be a forgiving and compassionate child, a loving caretaker for kids removed from their homes, a nurturing and attentive mother, an adoring wife, a present and engaged therapist, a business owner and boss who deeply cares for the wellbeing of their team and community, a pleasant and generous friend, an activist, a creator, a gatherer….These last two years, especially, I have sat at my altar daily praying to please be shown the way to embody the highest expression of love I am capable of in this life time…to be shown the way to serve the greater good to the best of my ability while still honoring and respecting myself and my kids.
But something has changed within me. I’ve learned that there are truly no bounds to my love. I do not need to be liked, understood or even treated the way I think I deserve to be treated by you to love you or anyone else, including myself. It is the heart that has been used, the heart that has put the effort in, who knows its intention, the heart that loves radically despite its bruises…. that becomes strong. Now, I don’t need a designated place or specific way to “demonstrate” my love to the world. Any neat little box I thought I carried the treasure of my love in to show the rest of the world is no longer necessary. I have let it fall and break into a thousand pieces, and the sacred seeds of my greatest prayer have blown every direction. This entire life is the container now. I am powered by love. I am empowered by love. I am always in love.
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